An open letter to Umar Akmal and Shahid “lala” Afridi

Messers, U Akmal and S Afridi,


Can I begin by saying that it is heart breaking that I am writing this letter.  I could have chosen not to write this, however the disappointment has gotten to a point where perhaps a mirror needs to be held up.  A big one too. I have supported you for far too long, argued and debated against your detractors, many my own family members, and have defended you in any and every way possible.   My efforts unfortunately and disappointingly have gafridi_pakone wasted.

No country, I repeat, no country has gone through the trials and tribulations that Pakistan has. No country, I suspect will go through what Pakistan cricket is going through right now.   We are running on the memories of the past. The greatest gift that Waqar Younis and Wasim Akram have given Pakistan cricket is their legacy, tonight, some of that was on show.  I feel for you Wahab, like Wasim and Waqar of the yesteryears, you bowled your heart out.  It was there for all to see.  Your mates, especially in the fielding department, let you down.   Misbah, thank you for a wonderful career, I’m sorry I doubted you on so many occasions, I was distracted by the so called performers of our team.  You have been a rock amongst pebbles, and arguably, are one of Pakistan’s greatest captains.

Some will say the below is harsh, some will disagree, some will not like what I have to say, trust me however when I say this, you won’t find a more committed Pakistani cricket fan than yours truly, and perhaps, it’s even more important that I say this.

I hope that somehow this is shared enough on social media that it reaches you, because it’s time that a mirror is held up in front of both of you.   Time and time again, you have been given the responsibility of the lower batting order, to bat through and get the team to a respectable total or to chase a total that seems to be within reach.  Time and time again, you have failed. They say consistency is a good thing in cricket, unfortunately, you are consistent in failing at the tasks that are handed out to you.   No, there are no more excuses, don’t bat at the right position?  The reality is that people in Pakistan would give an arm and a leg to be in your position.

Let’s address both of you individually.


When you came onto the cricketing scene in 2009 you were being compared with Virat Kohli and we started believing  and hoping that we had finally found a reliable lower order batsman.   Boy, were we wrong.   The truth Umar, is that you wouldn’t be selected in the starting XI of any international team. Perhaps, Zimbabwe or Ireland could use your services, but even then, you wouldn’t be their best batsman.   I say that on results and consistency, not on talent. The tragedy and travesty is that I’m certain there are very talented batsmen in Lahore, Karachi and many other cities around Pakistan who haven’t been able to come through the ranks because even after multiple failures, your name is constantly picked in squads yet the results are the same.

When was the last time you actually batted for more than 15 overs?  Can’t remember?  Neither can I.  See my point and dilemma?  Truth is, you have wasted your talent, which you immensely are, but are you an international world beater? No.  Maybe once, sure yes, but not anymore.

For far too long, you have led the fans to believe, and hope.   To quote the greatest movie ever made, “Hope, hope is a dangerous thing, hope drives a man crazy” (Shawshank Redemption for those who haven’t seen it).   We would like consistency, not hope, take a leaf out of Steve Smith’s book.

Rather than trying to be a hero and smash each delivery out of the park, you would be better served with some time at the crease, if you cannot do so,  let someone else into the team who will.   I was there in Auckland when you played that stupid shot straight to Superman himself, AB de Villiers.   You had no one else to blame but yourself.

Utter and complete disappointment.  Do you belong in the team? Not at all.   You had your chance in this world cup to prove that it was correct to select you over Fawad Alam.  You didn’t even come close.

seems like a lifetime ago

seems like a lifetime ago

The day you realise that you aren’t as good as you think you are, that will be the day that you actually become a better cricketer.


Now I come to the saddest part of this letter.  Lala, Shahid bhai, Boom Boom, this world cup was to be your farewell.   For so many years, you have been the connection for this generation to the 90s. To the golden era, you were that guy.  The x-factor.  You have played alongside legends such as Akram, Younis, Inzi and co.   What happened bhaijaan?  (elder brother).

What I cannot understand, alongside every other Pakistani supporter is that for someone who has played nearly 400 ODI games, can you not assess the situation of a cricket match when you are batting?  A young child playing under 12s could assess the situation of the game better than you can.  When you came out to bat today, did you not think to yourself, this could be my last time?   The power play was an over away, and you couldn’t help yourself?

Can you please tell me the last time you actually won a game for us?  I can’t either, the 2 sixes in the Asia up final were 2 shots that could have easily gone straight up in the air, and you know this too.   Was it in the 2011 world cup?  That was 4 years ago.

Since that time, everyone has argued (including me) for you to be in the team based on your bowling and on this false hope, that maybe, Lala will play sensibly.   Again, how wrong have we been.   You should be charged with misleading and deceptive conduct.  For that is what you have done, for far too long, you have mislead and deceived your fans.  I being your biggest one.   It saddens me to have to write this, but the truth is always a bitter pill to swallow.

Lala, I don’t care if you score a 100 in singles, but just do it.   Sixes, whilst they are great viewing, don’t mean anything if you get out the very next ball.  They say the best cricketer is one that improves, why haven’t you? Every team knows that Afridi will hit one ball for six, bowl the next ball short and on the offside and he will hit it straight in the air.   I was there when India did the exact same thing in Adelaide.   It then happened in every other game in this world cup.  I saw it happen in Auckland too.   But when you did hit that 84 metre six, the fans again went into this false sense of hope.    Do you feel that there is some pressure on you to hit sixes?

wanted to see more of this

wanted to see more of this

The fans would rather see 100s than sixes.  For someone who has played cricket for 20 years, how can you not see or understand that?  Or do you not care? Please do not let it be the latter.  Perhaps the 37 ball hundred has been a curse on your state of mind.    There is no better sight in world cricket than Afridi, standing in the middle of the pitch, with both hands aloft in the air, smiling.   Lala, we just haven’t had on opportunity to celebrate with you, we would like more of those moments.

The PCB has stated that you are to be our captain for the T20 aspect of the game.   Hand on heart, I cannot see how you will do anything different, except that your performance will continue to deteriorate.  It’s depressing having to watch you try and hold onto something you no longer are.

I cannot but feel for Misbah, both of you on many occasions have left Misbah high and dry.  Can you imagine his batting record if he didn’t have to come in at 4/45 knowing that after him it’s just Umar and Shahid.   How many times have you batted with him until the end?

Tonight is the end of your ODI career, but I have a bitter taste in my mouth.    The end of your career should have been one of celebration, but cricket, as Wahab is realising can be a cruel game, not even greats like Sanga and Mahela were given a scripted ending.  The difference between yourself and the great lankans is that they have consistently performed allowing their fans to celebrate their great careers.   Yours unfortunately, has been great in dribs and drabs and will be remembered perhaps for the most sixes.

I would have liked to remember it for the number of games you won for your country.

Regrettably, not as many as we, your fans would have liked.


Winter is coming… The beginning of the end for the Sharif mafia.

Winter is coming is a metaphor used by author George RR Martin to describe the inevitable and impending demise, or impending and yet inevitable times of hardship.   It is a metaphor used to inform individuals to be prepared, for winter (difficult times), is coming.

There has been a lot of conjecture in the past week about Imran Khan (IK) being power hungry and his Azaadi March being based on nothing else but his desire and hunger for the position of becoming Prime Minister (PM) and that he still has a case of sour grapes ever since losing the elections in 2013.flags

There have also been many false allegations about secret meetings and deals already having been completed with the government.

Let’s address these concerns / issues / false allegations and absurd proclamations for the beginning of the end, for the Sharif mafia has commenced.

Power Hungry

As this the most absurd allegation of them all, it is for this reason, that I must address this first. Before I do however, I must ask, which politician isn’t power hungry?  Have the actions of the Sharif brothers (the irony in the name isn’t lost on anyone) over the last 30 years not been based on power and greed?  Have we all forgotten the Karz scheme that Sharif senior so successfully ran in the 90s and mislead his own country men and women to fill his own back pocket? Again, where is that money? Have we forgotten his assassination attempt on the then Chief of Army Staff – Musharraf? During his last trip to the United Kingdom (UK), the PM also took the CM Punjab (his younger brother) to London on tax payer money.  His Son, Hamza Sharif attended also – why?

With the utmost respect, it is a bit much, claiming that Imran Khan is power hungry, when at the helm of your own political party you have Sharif senior and junior.    Were rigging the elections not an action of power and greed?

Whether or not Imran Khan is power hungry is a moot point in the grand scheme of things, perhaps irrelevant even.   When Imran Khan started his political party on 25 April 1996, there was no need for him to do so.  He was blessed with many facets of life that many of us would be quite envious of.  Arguably Pakistan’s most successful cricket captain, married (as he was then) to one of the crème de la crème families of the United Kingdom.  So why start a political party?  In the early stages, he was ridiculed, tormented and told that he was nothing more than a has been cricket superstar.    My point is, if you haven’t really gathered as much, that there was no need for Imran Khan to give up all that he had to simply want to become the PM for the sake of being PM.   There is much more to his political prowess.

Imran’s Azaadi March is the culmination of 18 years of political struggle and wanting to change the feudalistic ways of a country that have prevented democracy from flourishing in its true manner and form.   You cannot put a cloak over a feudalistic society and call it democracy.    Fair and free elections are one corner stone (amongst others) of true democracy.   Whether one ballot box was rigged / fixed / pre-determined or an entire state was rigged, the fact of the matter is that it was rigged.

Power hungry? I think not, wanting to change a feudalistic society ? I think so.   The next leaders of the PMLN will be Hamza and Mariam Sharif. Democratic?  Do I really need to complete the sentence?    The next leader of the PPP will be Bilwal Zardari ad-on Bhutto.  Democratic?  I think not.   Pakistan is not part of the personal inheritance of these feudalistic and dynastical families.

The Azaadi March arises from the government’s failure to address the rigging allegations as made by PTI despite concrete evidence that various constituencies were rigged. That is, evidence from the ballot boxes that have been opened thus far.   The Supreme Court and the Election Commission have been of no help either.   So, should Imran Khan stop his alleged whinging and get on with his life as so many people have put it?  No.  It doesn’t matter if the elections are held again and Imran Khan loses, winning is not the point.  Honesty, transparency and free and fair elections are the point whereby people are allowed to vote for whom they want, and that their votes are actually cast.   If we do not stand up to this travesty, then we will never eradicate this feudalistic cycle.  For all we know, at the next elections, ad-on Bhutto could be our next PM.

Since the announcement of the Azaadi March, there has been nothing said or done by the current government to state that they are the ones who should be leading the country forward and that somehow PTI’s policies and ideals are incorrect.  A few days ago, I updated a status that pulled at the heart strings of the PMLN faithful.   It just goes to show, when there is nothing left for you to argue, or for you to say, all you can do is sling mud.   There is nothing I can do stop the mud-slinging, it will continue.  Let it be.

For those that argue otherwise, demonstrating is a democratic right and if this current government truly is democratic, they will allow the protests to take place, whether it is Imran Khan, Qadri, or Meera protesting against the attacks on her English.   It doesn’t matter what the protest is about, the fact of the matter is, in a democratic society, the right to protest is not only a constitutional right but also a recognised right under various internationally recognised treaties such as the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights and the Universal Deceleration of Human Rights.

Perhaps a better strategy for the current government to adopt would have been to allow the individuals to protest and then negotiate with whatever terms are presented to them.   Placing road blocks, cutting off fuel supplies and arresting people is not the democratic way.  That is, dare I say it, the dictator way.

So, to all of you, who are saying that these protests are just a waste of money, time and effort, let me ask you this, in particular, people residing in Pakistan, are you willing to live through further decades of lies, treachery and deception?  Are you willing to allow the power brokers in the houses of parliament to become richer while you continue to complain about the everyday struggles?  I’ll let this sink in for a little while longer.

I’ve never really understood why the PMLN faithful are slinging mud on Imran Khan and PTI so scathingly, but at the same time have nothing positive to say about their own party’s policies and agendas, and then, it hit me………. Fear.   As George RR Martin so eloquently put it:

              “When you tear out a man’s tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you’re only telling the world that you fear what he might say.”

It is this exact fear of what PTI’s investigations may reveal and what they may show to the world.  The fear that the corrupt ways of the current government will be revealed.   So to the PMLN faithful, please, by all means, continue to sling mud, build barricades, insult and attack Imran’s personal life, stop fuel supplies and close down the cities, at the end of the day, you cannot prevent what is coming and perhaps is already here….. Winter.

New Kids on the Block – Pre – Season report

As Canberra gears up for the new T20 season starting this August, the newest team in the competition had its first hit out in the sunny, yet deceptive Canberra weather.viper 2

The Vipers are named after George RR Martin’s character, Oberyn Martell, the warrior from the fictional lands of Dorne.

The team’s origins begin from the resignation of three members of last season’s quarter finalists, The Dodgers.

Armed with the infamous yellow stumps, the first hit out was a positive one, with a lot of friendly banter among the lads. Jerry Ahmed was overheard many a time stating – “chill hai yaar” personifying the attitude in which this team will play.

The captain has many options up his sleeve in both the batting and bowling departments.  With 2 genuine hitters in the squad, Jasdeep Kang and Jerry Ahmed, their positions may well be floaters in the batting line up depending on the circumstances of the game.

Salik Ali (aka Jaques Kallis) of the team is expected to continue his good form at the top of the batting order.  It’s uncertain as to who will accompany him.   Hassan, the captain, reported to ESPN that “it’s good to have so many options”.  The forums are abuzz with rumours already spreading as to Salik’s opening partner.   Sportsbett has Faraz Ahmed at $1.50, Ammar Jamil at $1.40, Jerry Ahmed at $1.80 and Farooq Ahmed at $2.20

Hassan was seen showing his soccer skills whilst trying to get out the way of a meaty drive from Faraz Ahmed (perhaps, he needs to get out soccer mode).

Muhammad Alim (aka Rahul) and newest recruit Ammar Jamil were not present at training today but are expected to start on 2 August 2014.

Salik Ali told Karachi Express news that the boys are keen to get started and are looking forward to playing The Dodgers whenever that may be.

With a good mix of batsmen, bowlers and all-rounders, this team is certainly one to watch out for.

Fans at training – 0

First opponents – unknown.

The management wished all the fans a Eid Mubarik.

Thuggery, Deception & Lies – “Riggelections 2013”

The 2013 election campaign has been mentally exhausting.  It’s been a roller coaster ride from extreme highs, positivism, to extreme lows, negativity and right through to hope and despair. Image

As the PTI faithful stood hand in hand in Islamabad on 9 May 2013 and took an oath in unison (with the great one watching on from hospital), I really did think that this was it, that it was time for the people to get rid of the feudalistic parties and elect a leader that actually cares about the furtherance of the country on all levels.   This had to be my favourite moment of the entire election campaign.

Perhaps my expectations were extremely high, perhaps I was naive about what could be achieved.  What I  didn’t expect however, was the level and extent of thuggery, deception and rigging used by the major other parties.   Is this a case of sour grapes?  No.  It’s a case of one parties’ outcomes being limited by deceitful ways.  One of the major elements of a Naya Pakistan that PTI so strongly believes in is free and fair elections.  Were these elections free? Were they fair?  I certainly don’t think so.

Many of you would have seen the numerous videos and photos of rigging techniques used by the other parties.  Whether its pre stamped ballot boxes, abusing voters, destroying ballot boxes, not allowing people to vote, threatening voters with violence the list doesn’t end there.  Image

I was recently told that PTI would have still lost, even if we take the rigging out.  The sad and tragic part is, they didn’t realize that not only were they justifying winning by deception but they didn’t care that it was done.   The question needs to be asked, – how many other areas of Pakistan did rigging occur that were not captured by mobile phone devices?

Could the result have been different?  I don’t know, nor do I claim that it would have been. One such example is NA -122 – a seat in Lahore.  Imran Khan only received 400 votes, from 239 ballot stations – have you raised your eyebrow yet? –

Whilst Facebook has been doing it’s part to raise and bring out the culprits, so has Twitter.  On 13 May 2013, a Salman Siiddiiqui tweeted the following:

“I voted PTI NA246 Karachi, but news is showing no votes for PTI.  Where is my vote?”

This is one example of numerous examples that continue to be shared on all forms of social media.   It doesn’t matter what political party the rigging is done against, it should not happen at all. 

PTI is currently completing a white paper and various other petitions that will be lodged to the election commission and the Pakistan Supreme Court.  What happens thereafter I don’t know, but object we must.

Whilst the rigging on one level is disappointing, so is the thuggery.  The actions of MQM in Karachi on polling day were disgusting (not saying that MQM was the only one).  As far as I am concerned, MQM should have been disqualified.  You all have heard about the thuggery used by MQM, forcing voters to vote on multiple ballot boxes whilst holding guns and other weapons.

Since the elections, PTI supporters have held protests in Karachi of the actions of MQM.  MQM’s leader has openly threatened the PTI Faithfull’s livelihoods.  Had it been any other party, one would not take this threat seriously, however given MQM’s previous history one takes this threat very seriously.

The sad and tragic part of all this is that the ECP has failed to govern and run fair and free elections.  What this does is it puts a smear on PMLN’s victory.   It puts the credibility of the entire elections in jeopardy.  What else went on that the voters don’t know about?  Were their votes actually even counted?

To my PTI faithful, you have much to cheer about and be proud of.  We have come from being a throw away party to now the second largest political force in the country.  Inshallah our governance in KPK will show what we are capable of.

To PMLN and to its members, congratulations on “winning” the elections.  PTI will sit in the opposition and hold you accountable for every lie, oh sorry, promise that you have made.   Starting with you Shahbaz Sharif, 90 days to fix the energy crisis, or was it 3 months? 6 months? Or you don’t know?

“Winning” the election was one thing, but now actually doing something whilst in government is something completely different.  And by “doing something” I mean actually progressing the country on all fronts, not simply building yellow taxis or busses in metropolitan Lahore.  Should you fail now, I can tell you, that the PTI faithful world over is waiting to pounce like cornered tigers, because that is what we have become.

The clock is ticking… tick… tick… tick.

# the above views are not necessarily held by PTI, but are the views of the writer.

The world must respond to the Genocide. Humanity must prevail.

The goal of the operation is to send Gaza back to the Middle Ages, only then will Israel be calm for 40 years” -Eli Yishai Israeli Interior Minister.

In excess of 96 dead within a week. Countless injured, homes lost, infrastructure destroyed (not that there was much left in the first place).

Self Defence? – I think not. To anyone who thinks otherwise, I invite you to reply.  I am intrigued.

The conflict in the middle-east has been documented on all platforms and mediums by many experts.   I do not propose to provide a summation here.  I will however, say this, the recent escalation in violence commenced due to the assassination a Palestinian Hamas officer.

Israel’s “precision bombing” targets a “Terrorist”

Yes that is correct (for those of you who rely on Fox, Sky or CNN for your news).    The assassination resulted in rockets being fired into Israel.  (Yes I will address the rockets in due course).In response to the rocket attacks, Israel has launched the recent offensive, with the possibility of ground troops being sent into Gaza.   The above quote is from the Israeli interior minister when asked about the purpose behind the recent offensive.

Minister Yishai continued, – “We must blow Gaza back to the Middle Ages, destroying all the infrastructure including roads and water.   

Genocide much?  I think so.

The above statements do not reflect the intentions of a nation in fear of its safety.  They are the sentiments of a nation finally looking to end the conflict once and for all, unfortunately not in the peaceful manner.

President Obama continues back Israel’s right to defend itself.   May I ask you this Mr President, what about the Palestinian peoples right to self defence?  Are they not entitled to that either?

I do not support the rockets being fired into Israel, for me, a peaceful resolution is the answer, having said that however, I do not live there, I haven’t lost a family member to a bomb which also flattened my house, I have not had my school destroyed, I have not lost a limb, I haven’t had my land taken away.  The list is endless.

In similar fashion to Israel’s right to defend itself, the Palestinian people have the same right to self defence.  The right to self defence however doesn’t encompass overt aggression, purposefully targeting innocent civilians or declaring the destruction of an entire nation by sending them back to the middle ages.

The IDF (Israeli Defence Force)’s actions over the last week have been unnecessary, uncalled for and certainly should raise eyebrows amongst international law fraternity.

How long will the world wait until some serious pressure is put on Israel to end the unnecessary bloodshed?  Are we afraid of doing so?  How many more lives will be lost?  When will the murderers be brought to justice? The recent offensive is not helping anyone or anything, it is simply creating and fuelling further hatred.

For everyone reading this, I urge you to post something about the violence on the various social media platforms, – a very powerful tool in today’s times.   The international Courts, Tribunals and Committees must take some serious action.   A crisis meeting here and there will not suffice.

Humanity must prevail, justice must prevail, the murderers must be brought to justice.


Peace is the goal, the answer and the hope.    Until the murderers are brought to justice, peace will not be achieved. I end with a quote that has been doing the rounds on Twitter:

“You don’t have to be a Muslim to care and be aware of the plight of the Palestinians, you just need to be human”

All I can do is pray.




An open letter to the violent protestors

Many of you may not agree with what I have to say below. – but here goes nothing

To all the violent protestors

I too am angry.  I too am disgusted.  I too am appalled.  I too want to respond. I too want to defend my religion.  But I do not want blood.  I do not want to kill innocent people, I do not want to behead anyone.  I do not want to destroy property that has nothing to do with the movie that  has momentarily disturbed world peace.

Coming to that video, I went onto YouTube and watched parts of the video.  It is insulting, completely inaccurate, incorrect and ludicrous.   However, the purpose and intent of the video was to create uproar, and seek a reaction.

surely this is not Islam.

The author of the video has been the victor.

Let’s think about this for one second, the last time I checked, the Prophet (PBUH) condemned violence.  I make no claim at being a scholar of Islam, or having immense knowledge, but I do know that the Prophet (PBUH) would not have supported this kind of behaviour.

I admit, I am not a fan of US foreign policy, but what on earth does this video have anything to do with the US government or its people?  What did the ambassador who lost his life have to do anything with the video?   Are we not becoming and doing exactly what the idiot in the video was trying to portray?

Perfectly normal Muslims world wide are being generalised and targetted because of people like you.   It is because of people like you that the peaceful religion of Islam is questioned world wide.  It is because of people like you that normal peaceful Muslims world wide have to defend their faith on a daily basis.   It is because of people like you the media targets Muslims, the newspaper Sydney Morning Herald had called the protests “Islamic Protests”.

What on earth are Islamic Protests?  But it is our actions that lead the media to come up with headlines like these.   The actions of the violent protestors have done more damage to the name, image and credibility of this wonderful religion than the actual stupid video itself.

Please don’t tell me that I don’t love the Prophet (PBUH) enough, or that I am not Muslim enough, if I am not out on the streets protesting or wishing hurt or death upon others.   As far as I see it, we have blood on our hands, the blood of that Ambassador.

Protest sure, be angry sure, but perhaps the better way to respond to that douche bag was to peacefully protest, make responding videos, or simply write articles dispelling the incorrect myths that he was trying to convey.

Our actions have not only proved him correct, but have also further fuelled the fear in the western world, that we in fact are a violent society and the US of A needs to “protect itself” from extremists with big beards.

But hey, as I have been told, what would I know?  I live in a “Kaafir” country.

Always remember, “to kill one human being, is to kill all of humanity”

 If only, many of us would remember the above.

So to all of you the protestors that were out on the streets seeking beheadings, or violent revenge, thank you, you have just portrayed this wonderful religion that talks about peace and tolerance in the worst light possible.   Because of you, Muslims world wide will be, and are being targetted.

I can only pray for peace.

Season Report – “Its about the good things in life” as Boom Boom bow out at the Semis

There was a now or never feeling in the air as Team Boom Boom arrived to Play Bang Bros 2 in the first semi-final of the Lyneham Indoor cricket championships.

Fahad Sheikh and Jerry Ahmed

Many said it was a hard task, some even deemed it impossible, Ravi Shastri on channel 9 commented that Boom Boom had no chance, like Ian Chappell though, he too holds a grudge against Boom Boom. Moe Satti however, saw it as one final hurdle before meeting the Green Machine in the Grand Final.

The day unfortunately did not go to as plan as Bang Bros 2 much like the All Blacks were too strong for Boom Boom and they advanced to play in the Grand Final only to be butchered by the Green Machine. Please excuse me whilst I do a celebratory dance, video footage of my reaction can be found at ( )

Boom Boom however did not go down without a fight, with Hassan Ehsan returning some well deserved verbal diarrhea to a certain member of the Bang Bros 2 team from behind the net whilst Salik Ali let his bat do the talking and unleashed many of his golf swings which saw the ball clear the back of the net many a mile.

With the new season under way and Boom Boom advancing to the higher grades, we here at ESPN Star Cricket look back at the year of the newest sensation to the hit the indoor cricket scene – Team “Boom Boom”.

Precisely one year ago over a few Samosas Muhammad Moe Satti asked a few of the boys if they wanted to start an indoor cricket team and with somewhat reluctant enthusiasm, team Muhammad was created. Much like the refugees on Christmas Island waiting for their visa applications to be considered, team Muhammad could not conjure up an appropriate team name, nor any appropriate clothing as the players commenced the season in singlets and rags. And so it was that team Muhammad were chucked into the championships mid season – underfunded, unprepared, and without a real game plan as they struggled to get 8 players on the court week in and week out. – remind you of a certain Ijazz Butt?

A change was needed, as was a new direction (a real one, not an Obama one) and after watching many videos on youtube, the idea for team Boom Boom was born (specifically)

Shirts were designed, arguments were had as to who would have the highly contested number 10 jersey, and team muhammad became team Boom Boom. The season however, commenced slowly with Boom Boom losing their first 3 games, the fielding was despicable to say the least and the batting well, much like J Gillard’s popularity, there wasn’t much of it. As the season progressed however, partnerships and formations started to blossom. The turning point however was the team’s win over Scared Hitless, that one game really gave the team the confidence they needed.

Since then, the unnecessary extra’s were reduced (ok maybe not so much), batting partnerships were formed and each game was played with as much passion and determination as Sreesanth, (ok I exaggerate a little again).

One week it was the batting , the other week it was fielding or bowling that led the team to victory (ok I lie, it was never the fielding). The greatest factor in the teams success (making the semi’s in their first season is success) like chutney on naan bread was the comradry between the boys that held the team together. Coach Gordon Bombay would have been proud. Whether it was Jerry’s words of wisdom or Justin’s soothing comedy, never a dull moment in the dressing room.

Moe Satti during the early days - when $$$ were hard to come by

But just as team Boom Boom were looking up and heading towards the business end of the season, A bombshell hit. Just like Marissa Cooper being killed off on the OC, Jerry Ahmed was leaving the team to join / and create the Green Machine.

Moe Satti looked to Sir Alex Ferguson for inspiration and wasted no time and commenced the search for replacements. International intervention was even sought, the search was far and wide, to the depths of the US and to the Sahara Desert (Kuwait really). Shaata Hossain, Salik Ali and Omair Ali were the perfect replacement for Jerry Ahmed. Boom Boom have also welcomed the third “Ali brother” making it a family affair. Jerry like Michael Jordan and the Chicago bulls, never really left, he continued to fill in when needed, his # 10 Jersey will always be a part of the Boom Boom Family.

Ian Healy recently caught up with the outgoing captain Moe Satti –

Heals: What has been the best thing that has happened to this team?
Moe: Jazz quitting the KFC diet.
Heals: How did you cope with losing Jerry just as you were starting to gel as a team?

Moe: How did we cope? We brought in new recruits! – Manchester United are doing just fine without Ronaldo aren’t they?
Heals: Will you be looking for sponsorship for the upcoming season
Moe: Dunno, I’m not captain, with Omair Ali now part of the team, I believe Kingsley’s Chicken is on the cards.
Heals: How do you think you will attract more crowds?

Moe: I think we need more players like Yaatha, he seems to attract the ladies.
Heals: err I was talking about fans in general… Has cricket 2011 on PS3 approached you about your batting style?
Moe: No.
Heals: And finally why did you let go of the captaincy?
Moe: C ya mate.

We thank Moe Satti for giving us his treasured time for that interview. Boom Boom certainly has become a force to be reckoned with in the indoor cricket fraternity as they look forward to another good season under the helm of Jazz Kang. All the staff at Dickson KFC will be very proud and will be watching each game with great interest. You too can now order your jersey online at

As Boom Boom’s very own Justin George from Masterchef Theologidis reminds his teammates when things get heated -” Boys remember, it’s about all the good things in life.”

Until the next report, one for all and all for one – BOOM BOOM!

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